Home Schooling Problems:
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| Transitions Influencing Your Home School |
I certainly have found in our home school that, with four kids and numerous international moves under our belts, I have at last come to realize that at any one time, at least one or more of us is facing some significant transition. I just need to get used to it!
You can probably easily think of some life transitions that may be even now influencing your family...
- Did your daughter’s best friend just move?
- Did your son recently become a teenager?
- Is a family member fighting a prolonged illness or looking for a new job?
Naturally, these are difficult to adjust to, and may cause problems in home schooling.
But what about the smaller transitions, the ones we might not think of as major life issues, but which effect our kids nonetheless?
- Did the holidays just end?
- Are you having a lot of extra visitors lately?
- Is there anything disrupting his usual daily schedule (like practices starting up for basketball)?
- Is your youngster entering the upper elementary-school age? While not as major a shift as becoming a teenager, this change, too, can be a confusing time of growing up for your child.
There are all sorts of transitions, but they all involve new expectations and a lot of uncertainty.
| How To Cope With Circumstances Affecting Your Home School |
Oftentimes we can't change the circumstances. But don't lose hope! You can do several things to help minimize the stress:
- Learn to recognize the transitions your child is going through. Identifying them is truly half the battle. Understanding them will help you know if the unpleasant behavior going on with home schooling might be related to circumstances your child is facing or something else.
- Talk and listen to your child. Talking can help your child figure out what he might be feeling, bringing clarity to both you and him. This can help restore a measure of peace to all of you. I remember one time we were having problems with our oldest daughter. I thought it was her math book. What it really was was disappointment over some completely different area. I’m glad I asked and listened.
- Implement the SALT Your Life Principles. Four very do-able steps you can start to do today.
- Re-evaluate how you are home schooling before you change what you use for home school curriculum. Re-arrange the day’s subjects, for instance. Is your now-teenage son in need of more sleep? Try letting him do his math in the evening if he gets the same results.
- Spend some time dealing with the stress. Perhaps your daughter would like to spend some of her language-arts time journaling about her feelings about her friend moving away. For example, after we moved to a new city, my oldest daughter wrote a very moving essay on how hard it was for her to move. It not only helped her process her feelings, but it also gave me insight into her emotions.
- Schedule in a week for “electives.” This is one of my favorite strategies. You know all those fun home school projects you have collected over the years? Do them now! What about those real-life projects like scrapbooking or fixing a bike tire that you’ve been meaning to do? Make it school! Find something you could do to teach through it, whether that is good handwriting and design layout, or mechanics. Or, what has your child been wanting to learn that you could teach, or find a teacher to help him learn? Now’s a great time to follow-up on these ideas. And after the project is done, you can even have them write a journal entry about it.
- Make the most of what you do have, even the unsettledness. If you are moving, have your child estimate how many boxes you’ll need to pack all your books. If you will be traveling as a family, use it as a field-trip, and have your child do some research about the place you’ll go, or have him write about something he notices while you are there. Have him interview someone.
I remember one delightful morning of home schooling when we were traveling but had invited a Japanese friend over to have breakfast with us. Rather than try and figure out how to squeeze in doing our typical math lessons, we had an impromptu lesson in manga drawing that lasted most of the morning. This was so much more worthwhile. We could always do math (and we make it a high priority most of the time), but we couldn’t always have an artist teach us to draw.
- Put the responsibility on your child’s shoulders as much as possible. Maybe you don’t have the energy to supervise them. Let them write up their own goals or study schedule.
I learned this one the hard way. One year when we were on the road for about six weeks over the Christmas holidays, I was the one who kept our calendar and said when we were going to do school. No matter where we went, some public school was on vacation. Loud groans and protests of how unfair it was to be in school when the public school was out. Never mind that none of those public schools had six continuous weeks of vacation!
Next time when we are on the road I will lay out our expectations of how many days of school we require, and then, with some guidance, let them choose themselves when they will do it. They may choose to do some on the plane, or in the car, or when we get there. It wouldn’t matter as long as they met our agreed upon requirements for their home schooling homework.
| Other Circumstances That Might Be Factors in Your Home School’s Stress |
Not all difficulties relating to circumstances have to do with transitions or being unsettled. Other circumstances you should consider before you buy or change curriculum are:
- Where you live. If you live far from a library and don’t want to or can’t buy books to build your own home library, you’ll probably feel stress if you choose a curriculum that requires a lot of books.
- How much time you have. If you don’t have much time right now, be realistic and choose a curriculum that doesn’t require you to do a lot of planning, hands-on teaching or record-keeping. If you don’t think you can consistently give them the time needed for a certain curriculum, you may be better off going with another curriculum that requires less time from you.
- How much space you have. If you don’t have room for a home library, what will you do when the books you order from Amazon start showing up on your doorstep? You may feel some stress if your curriculum requires you to have lots of tools or books readily available and you just can’t right now.
- How much money you have. Yes, you can’t get away from this one. If you start buying lots of home school curriculum without planning and without a budget, it is easy to go overboard. Then you’ll inevitably feel an obligation to use those materials. The more you buy, the more you’ll feel locked in to using it, even if it isn’t a good match for your child. The solution? Look around at this site at the various articles we have to find out what you need to buy. Then set a budget and stick with it.
You need to be honest with yourself in each of these areas. If you gloss over these circumstances, you may feel stress later when you have to deal with rising costs, overcrowded bookshelves, or frequent trips to the library. There’s a saying that goes, “If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” There’s a least a kernel of truth to that! Think about your circumstances as well as your child’s.
Well done! As you reflect on your family's various circumstances, you are well on the way to solving your home schooling problems. Remember these key points:
- Consider the transitions your child is facing. Some may be obviously stressful, like a divorce in the family or a new baby. Others, like making the soccer team and thus having less time to play may be less obviously stressful, but still unsettling to your child.
- Implement the SALT Your Life Principles to build up your relationship with your child and keep the lines of communication open.
- Be honest about your own circumstances regarding your time, energy, money and other needs. Be realistic about those limitations for you.
If you are still having problems after evaluating your circumstances, it is time to look at the second of The Big Four C’s for Choosing Home School Curriculum, Character.
I've said it elsewhere, but it is worth repeating that you should also be sure to see a doctor or educational specialist for evaluating medical problems. Don't overlook this very important piece of the puzzle.
After looking at the first two of The Big Four C's for Choosing Home School Curriculum you still can’t pinpoint why there is so much stress with your home schooling, try changing another one of The Big Four C’s, the Curriculum. I'll be posting more information about this shortly. I can't wait to share some helpful strategies with you!
Have you found these tips helpful? I'd love to hear how you have found these ideas to work for you and your family. Use the form on our Contact Us page.
