Unschooling
Is It Right For You?

The word unschooling may give the impression that the child does no schoolwork, that the child rules the roost at home with no set bedtime or parental rules, and that there are no textbooks or curricula within five miles of the family home (a farm in some rural area, no doubt). Too loosy-goosy, you might say.

However, if you are willing to go beyond stereotypes, and look for a few minutes at what unschooling can offer, you may find yourself learning more than you thought you would from this type of home schooling.

Unschooling is the word many use to describe the method of home schooling where the parent nurtures the natural curiosity of the child, trusting that the child will learn -- at the right time -- what he or she needs to know. Other people call this “natural learning,” “delight directed learning,” or “relaxed schooling.” Regardless of what people call it, one central theme is that the process of learning is as important as the content, perhaps even more so. Another important theme is that the child is a key player in deciding what he or she will study.

Potential Advantages of Unschooling

Unschooling might be right for you if you…

• notice that your child learns and retains information much better when she was the one who suggested learning it,
• want to focus on the process of discovery and learning how to think rather than on simply having rote facts memorized,
• are interested in fostering your child’s love of learning and unique individuality by allowing her to follow her talents and gifts,
• are increasingly wanting to trust your child’s leading (or God’s leading in your child’s life) so that you are willing to work together to discern what she wants to learn and prepare for,
• want to bring more of the “real world” into her life and not have so much of a dichotomy between life and “school,”
• sense there is a more natural way of learning that is not tied to a certain established scope and sequence,
• feel like the above-mentioned ideas would help build and deepen your relationship with your child.

Potential Disadvantages of Unschooling

What may be difficult about unschooling?

Because unschooling is very process oriented, I think one of the hardest things about this approach to home schooling is learning to trust in the process. Specifically, to trust that your child’s natural curiosity will lead her to learn what she needs to learn, in her own time, in her own way. Also, to trust that real learning is going on even if it isn’t the type of learning that you can evaluate on a written exam.

Most of us now home schooling were educated in an institutional school setting. So, we often approach home schooling with a mind-set that tells us that learning happens best when you use established educational methods. For example…

• fill-in-the blank worksheets will help your child retain information,
• following a incremental approach to a subject such as mathematics helps give your child the tools needed to do higher level thinking.

While there is nothing inherently wrong with any of these things, unschoolers see them very much as tools to be used in building the educational environment of their child. Parents who choose unschooling for their child may well use a textbook, enroll their child in a class (if the child shows a desire to take the class), or give structure to a child’s day if those tools will meet the child’s own perceived need.

With unschooling, the emphasis is not on “teaching,” and how the parent should orchestrate how to cover all the materials the child should know. You don’t have to figure out how to lead your child through all those fascinating facts and significant time periods to make sure she learns it. Instead, you let the child lead the way, capitalizing on her own unique learning style and ability to make connections herself. In this way, since she’s motivated, she will more likely learn more and learn more thoroughly and enjoyably than if she were learning on someone else’s timetable.

But What Do You Do When…?

So, what does this mean practically speaking? If you answered “yes” to any of the introductory questions above and are interested in unschooling, does that mean you need to throw out your curriculum, let your kids sleep late, and just close your eyes and hope for the best when it comes to college?

I don’t think so, and I don’t think most unschooling families would say so. I think the key is to ask yourself some key questions (like the kind you’ll find listed on our site map) relating to what you believe about how a child learns best, how you want to evaluate the learning that is going on, how you want to be involved in the process and more. Do look around our site map for these and more articles!

Here are some suggestions if you are thinking of trying to do things more in the unschooling method of home schooling.

Ideally…
You are beginning to feel comfortable with letting go of control of having the last word on what your child “should” learn. The more you do so, the more you will probably be able to see the many things your child is learning and discovering. How exciting for both of you.
However…
If you find you just can’t let go and want to make sure your child is learning on someone’s list of What Your Child Must Know, you probably will subconsciously overlook the learning that is going on and focus on what your child isn’t learning. That will most likely not be good for either of you.
Suggestion:
Try to make sure you are looking for what your child is learning and affirm her. Just looking at how happy she is with your praise will probably bring joy to you, too.

Ideally…
You see that your child is motivated to learn and explore, even if it means in areas that you might not at first value (the ins and outs of certain computer games, Klingon language, how to plan parties, or the like). As you affirm their interests, you see how their natural inquisitiveness is leading them to branch out and explore new areas.
However…
You may not value what your child’s passion is to the same degree he does. After all, you figure, since when was Klingon (the man-made language of Star Trek) part of the SAT or ACT test?
Suggestion:
Allow your child to really pursue his dreams. Read below an excerpt from the blog of the mom who runs Brave Writer writing courses and materials, as she shares some thoughts about her son (a young man whose love for learning Klingon has lead him to spending hours in Barnes and Noble studying “for fun”, and who spends his money on a Greek Lexicon). She writes in a fascinating blog entry about herself and her son. In it she writes a statement I think many unschoolers (and other homeschoolers, too) can relate to. Julie calls her approach Rastafarian Homeschooling rather than an Unschooling, but you get the idea.

I’ve had to learn (along with the rest of you) that my child is not a product to be created but a life to be respected. A Brave Writer’s Life in Brief Blog

So, hard as it is, try taking a risk and letting your child follow his vision wholeheartedly. Encourage him to really pursue his passion with excellence. Let him become an expert in that niche. Even if this passion only lasts for a few months, he will have learned some valuable lessons. Of course, he will have learned about his passion, but he will also have learned about how one becomes an expert at something, and – at some level – will have expertise to share with others. Sharing their knowledge with others will also expand the learning opportunities of pursuing their passion. For many children, this process can really build their self-confidence and leadership skills.

Ideally…
You don’t mind that your child isn’t learning the same material that others children are learning at the same age. You realize that your children are unique and will be more able to comprehend concepts when they are ready to understand them. You believe that “levels” are really rather arbitrary.
However…
You may find yourself second-guessing your choice to unschool if your child is still not reading by age ten, or still doesn’t have his multiplication tables memorized by sixth grade (or whatever the problem seems to be).
Suggestion:
Learn about other philosophies of learning besides just what you grew up with or what the local schools are doing. For instance, one philosophy of how children learn math says that the understanding of concepts can often come in leaps and bounds after a period of percolating under the surface. Look at Living Math website for lots of articles on this idea.

The philosophy of learning that Living Math proposes (and the many books the site lists) is quite different than what you may be familiar with. However, it is one that we have found very helpful, as have many others. Read on:

We need not master all the "basics" before being able to experience the appreciation that carries us through the hard work of learning. Think of applying living math principles as developing a "mathematical ear" while working toward the mastery of basic theory. Living Math

Is unschooling rather unorthodox to most people? Yes. And yes, there are definitely issues about how your child learns and about how you parent that you will want to address if you are planning on pursuing unschooling as a home schooling method. No doubt for many people unschooling would feel very awkward. Yet, for many others it feels like the most natural way of life in the world.

Where do you fit? I would encourage you to take some time to review this page and other pages listed on our site map to help you in

• determining your core values,
• developing your educational philosophy and
• deciding how you will evaluate what your child is learning.

You will also want to check out some information on what is required of you by your local government. One resource to check is A to Z Homeschooling's legalities page. From what I understand, unschoolers tend to find the links and elists listed there to be more unschooler-friendly than the Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA). It also, however, has helpful information for what you need to know and do to be home schooling legally. Regardless of which sites you use, it is important to be informed of what you need to do legally in the way of complying with any regulation your local government has about home schooling.

I hope this information has helped you to understand unschooling better, and yourself better. I would recommend the following links for more information on unschooling or more relaxed schooling:

General:

• Life Without School Main Page
• Just Enough unschooling blog
• Unschooling.com
• Family Unschooling Network (Home of FUN-Books.com)
• Sandra Dodd's Radical Unschooling
• A Brave Writer's Life in Brief blog

Math:

Living Math

Writing:

• Brave Writer

Feel free to Contact Me if you have any comments or questions. May your home schooling journey be full of joy and success for all you.

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